GIANT KEG?

well…

thats pretty much all i have to say for now. nah but really its 10:35 wednesday night and i finally have time to breath. my life has been quite chaotic [spell check?} just straight chaos. i have been hearing Gods voice a lot lately and it is soo awesome and i even feel i have words and impressions for others! i am really becoming what God made me to be. 

Today in worship I was really convicted in not having enough trust in God, i gave Him my life but i still won't let Him control my provisions. I say every time I eat is "God provides", but i won't let Him in 100%. ugh, so i kinda went through my lists of truths and figured i needed more of God's Love. And God gave me an image of this Giant Keg in side me. Not the silver kind of keg but the big wooden ones that are used for ale and wine. I remember being at the Garden, back home, when they were about to tap the Keg. This guy busted out a gnarly wooden mallet, he grabbed the tap and after a few small smacks, he leaned back and popped a solid hit on the tap and the air was filled with cheers. Its pretty obvious what happened next, a flow of liquid. I saw this Keg inside me and i needed to tap into it because it is filled with God's love and it was up to me to tap and drink. I felt humbled, I was asking for God's love and it was already in me and i was the one who wasn't  doing his part. 

I t so bad how we assume that God is not doing His part or that He is holding back from us but it us who is not accepting Him. 

this reminds me of intercession, its all about waiting and hearing God's voice. People have written ten steps to intercessory prayer but its all about the individual.We need to come before God with a Clean and Humble spirit so it begins with a request. prayer means talking with God, but intercession  is about hearing God. So we need to just stop talking and let God add to our conversation, just as you would let anyone else add to the conversation. Were always telling God this and that we never give Him a chance to reply.

Just ShutUP for two seconds, hahaha.

man these past days have been getting me so stressed, I really didn't want to be talking but i was put in situations where i was almost forced to socialize. ugh man. i am really sick right now but i hade been forced to push passed that too. like if i was to mention that i wouldn't doubt that people would like 'what  really you don't seem sick'. i mean i don't want pity for being sick but holy cow man, trying to keep up has takin' a toll out on me. Each day gets harder to wake up and get motivated but look at me. God has helped me throughout yet another day. JESUS!

Mini Outreach (MO) will be announced tomorrow and man i am looking forward to going. We were given three choices: Ukraine, Germany, and Czech Republic. In Ukraine the team will be helpingg two weeks at an orphanage. The Germany team will be going ahead of the Sept. MOTA and pray of the city they are having there finishing tour. And the second week they will be helping with the behind the scenes of the tour, like set up and tear down. The Czech team will be all over the place, first week they will be helping a english camp for Czech youth, then they will be in Prague cooking for a conference and then they will follow the conference to a city on the eastern boarder of Czech. there they will be doing more cooking and be presenting YWAM and pioneering YWAM Czech Republic.

When the tree options were presented, we were given thirty minutes to choose our top two. It took me all of five minutes to write my two. 1. Ukraine 2. Germany. BUt as i was sitting there looking at the notes i wrote on all three, i began to challenge my motives to go. Wow this is were i need God to take over. I had so many pros and cons on all three (which btw i wrote on my choice card). after they were presented we began our scheduled intercessory prayer, the topic, of course, was our MO locations. i was kinda hoping God would lead  me to one or the other by the end of the prayer time but He instead gave me strong impressions on all three. GRRR. i went and discussed this with my one-on-one, and he said sometimes God puts the choice in our hands. I had a feeling God wanted me to stand up and make a choice (be assertive). Since God had given me such strong impressions on all three places, I can say with peace, that where ever i go, God will use me and i will be affective.

There is some people I would like to go on MO with and some I would not, and some, who coming with or not, will make the MO quite interesting. I am trying to turn my full focus to God in this situation, I know He will have my best. JESUS! ha

Before i call it a night, I want to through out a shout-out to my Madra, and Pops. Lov Ya both. My dog, Bella. rrROOF. And my crazy awesome Fam. I love you and the prayers you are praying!